Worship and Evangelization Outreach / Teresa Venatta

Spiritual direction provides intimacy and a safe space to be vulnerable

When praying for guidance in what to write about regarding the ministry of spiritual direction, I needed to look no further than the topic of our recent Archdiocese of Indianapolis spiritual directors’ gatherings.

We, as spiritual directors, have been reflecting on how vulnerability is key to spiritual growth, as both spiritual director and directee.

Vulnerability is defined as a state of openness to the possibility of being physically or emotionally wounded. Culturally, strength and resilience are highly valued characteristics, so the concept of vulnerability can be misunderstood as a lack of courage or endurance. It can even seem counterintuitive to embrace vulnerability since it can feel risky and fragile.

However, in a recent Sunday reading, St. Paul reminds us in his Second Letter to the Corinthians that the Lord told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). This led St. Paul to the paradoxical awareness that, “for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:10).

St. Paul’s invitation was to acknowledge that vulnerability is part of our human condition. The call then becomes to look for God’s grace and strength within our human fragility. This involves a courageous openness to risk, disappointments and failures as we navigate our Christian walk. C.S. Lewis stated, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

So, in this increasingly complex and challenging world, where can we go to find a safe and sacred place to rest and connect with this graced vulnerable side of ourselves? This is a side of ourselves that God already knows and loves, but may be partially hidden from our internal awareness.

Spiritual direction can be just that safe space to explore our wounds and struggles without fear of judgment. It has even been said that spiritual direction thrives on vulnerability.

Spiritual direction is an ongoing relationship between a formed spiritual director and a directee who is seeking deeper intimacy with God. The fact is, there is no true intimacy without vulnerability.

The spiritual director is an attentive listener providing a safe space for the directee to connect their inner and outer experiences and wounds with our loving God.

In this ministry, the spiritual director’s role is to be fully present and to listen to both the directee and to God. This loving focus on the directee can open the door to deeper self-awareness and healing. This vulnerable sharing of the most intimate parts of our hearts can be the gateway to encounter God’s mercy.

Spiritual directors are not problem solvers. They prayerfully set aside their own self-interests and agendas for the sake of the directee’s relationship with God by paying attention to what has been happening in the directee’s life.

In affirming God’s presence and love, words are secondary in the spiritual director’s role as a trusted loving listener. There is a mutual vulnerability in the spiritual direction relationship. The spiritual director should prayerfully attempt to lead the directee to greater vulnerability through sensitive listening and encouragement. The spiritual director’s vulnerability is in their ongoing awareness of Christ’s presence.

Sometimes this can feel like helplessness for the spiritual director as they defer to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The most graced gift of spiritual direction can be this mutuality of vulnerability.

Both director and directee are beloved by God, both are loved sinners, both are on a unique journey to God, and both are hearts in search of intimacy and wholeness in the midst of their human fragility.

If your heart is longing to take this “risk,” reach out!
 

(Teresa Venatta is the discernment companion for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis. She can be reached at spiritualdirection@archindy.org.) †